Godly Parenting

Reverend Dr J Mwenje

Key Scriptures

Psalm 127 :3

Children are a heritage from the Lord , offspring a reward from him.

Don’t you see that children are God ’s best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? [MSG Bible]

Judges 13:12

And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass. How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?

Genesis 18:19

For I have known (chosen, acknowledged) him [as My own], so that he may teach and command his children and [the sons of] his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is righteous and just, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has promised him.”

Introduction

Things to know right from the beginning:

A. You as a parent

• It is God's plan that you are a parent

• God has already chosen/equipped you for the journey as a parent

• The journey has its ups and downs but you are a victor

• Be confident in your parenting

• The person that you are walking with in your parenting is GOD, who knows everything about you and your children and has great plans for you family. Jeremiah 29:11"I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." [MSG Bible ]

• It is one of the greatest blessings of a parent to see their children grow to teenagers to young adults until they are independent

B. What you should know about your children

• They are different and have different personalities.

• They can have moods swings especially teenagers

• They are affected by the environment

• Peer pressure is quite high at certain times

• Home environment affects them positively or negatively

• They crave for independence

• They may end up not being what you had thought or dreamed of [they develop independent minds]

C. Types of parents

• Authoritarian parenting [Because I say so, little or no room for negotiations]

Problem: Children tend to follow rules much of the time and may not develop decision making and problem solving skills

• Authoritative parenting

Have also rules like the above but tell the children the REASONS for the rules and CONSEQUENCES for an action. Here children have ability to decide and solve problems taking into consideration the consequences or end result of their actions.

• Permissive parenting

Lenient _ kids will be kids kind of parenting and encourage children to talk to them about their problems. Sometimes fail to discourage bad behaviour and children tend in future nit to appreciate authority that is not permissive and nay struggle at school and in their marriage

• Uninvolved parenting

Neglectful and expect children to raise themselves. Parent too busy with other things, work etc.

Children under this lack parental attention and may exhibit behavioural problems.

GODLY PARENTING

I will divide children into three categories

a. From birth to primary school

b. Teenagers

c.Young adults from 20 upwards

Godly Parenting

The initial basic requirements of any child are driven at home. What are these requirements? These are discussed in the 6 points below:

Important settings for effective parenting.

1. Train or teach them in the precepts of GOD..

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Point your kids in the right direction— when they’re old they won’t be lost.

Parents have the first priority of training their children[spiritually and physically]. Parents who are entrusted with children must themselves determine to obey scriptures. One cannot expect children to put the Word of God into practice if their parents show no sign of doing so. The Word of God should begin when the children are young. Training means to:

Teach them

Talk to them

Listen to them

Dialogue with them

Allow them to reason

Give room for mistakes

2. Bringing up the child.

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Discipline is important

Prov 13 vs 4

He who withholds the rod [of discipline] hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately [with wisdom and love].

3. Love and forgiveness

Important in parenthood as children go through various stages in life

4. Support and sacrificing for them

God who gives children will provide for their support through you

5. Communication

Activities that assist in communicating with your children:

Be creative as parents more so during this time of Covid-19

Have some games together [allow them to be innovative - your children no many games and activities, let them lead giving turns to each]

Walking together allows you to converse about various aspects

Prayer times together

Discussions / debate like on various issues such as lifestyle, goals, expectations in life, current issues etc especially for grown up children. However avoid using these discussions as always a way of reprimand or getting your way through, the children will not participate or even they won't open up .

Watch TV etc together

Discuss about church sermons together [your own family panel discussion!]

For teenagers and upwards, the use of time is important to teach. Ephesians 5:15-16

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.

Therefore see that you walk carefully [living life with honor, purpose, and courage; shunning those who tolerate and enable evil], not as the unwise, but as wise [sensible, intelligent, discerning people], making the very most of your time [on earth, recognizing and taking advantage of each opportunity and using it with wisdom and diligence], because the days are [filled with] evil.

Discuss with them on how they can use time, let them participate actively

Discuss some time wasters and their effect [ highlighting the good side if used wisely,] eg TV, social media, pornography , online learning etc

3. The effect of laziness and hard work . Prov 6:6

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Encourage them in theur school work and assist them.

4. Discuss about gossiping. Teenagers have a tendency to be involved in this. Discuss the dangers if such etc

5. Home

6. Yourself- be exemplary to the children

Things to avoid when parenting

1. Losing the respect of your children

2. Giving up on your child

3. Comparison that demeans your child thereby making them lose confidence and identity

4. Expecting that your child will be trained at school, church etc apart from home. Some teachings that our children go through in schools etc may not be in line with the biblical principles that we believe in

Conclusion

During such a crisis like the Covid 19 where we are under lockdown, colleges and universities are closed, most parents are at home. What is happening when

1. The house is crowded

2. There maybe misunderstanding with each other

3. Children consuming lots of food hence the budget inder strain

4. Income may not be flowing in as it used to

5. There is tension in some homes

6. Children are not anke to see their friends as they used resulting in moods swings

7. Children learning from home hence need assistance

8. Adults relationship strained in some cases

The list goes on and on. So what do parents need to do?

1. Pray together

2. Assist in their education

3. Have some physical activities together eg games, taking a walk chores at home etc everything to be done in line with the law

4. Do chores together; cooking, gardening etc

5. Being patient , forgiving and accommodative

Children need:

Supportive parents

Emotionally and physically present parents

Parents that lead by example

GOD BLESS YOU.